Adventures In Lawnmowing

I hate mowing the lawn. It was my job as a kid, I hated it then, I hate it now. Of course it doesn't matter that I bought a house with a huge lawn...I'm really not that smart. Anyway...this is what mowing the lawn usually turns out to be for me.

I have 2 lawnmowers: one is easy, light, no bells and whistles. The other is one of these huge green things with the bag you have to empty every 5 minutes, self propelled at a wheelie-popping pace. I don't usually use that one.

So it's lawnmowing day. I get out there to start my nice easy mower. Won't start. I pull the starter cord. I pump the little suction ball thing I figure wizards must have put on these things to aid in starting (I don't know what its for..its all magic to me) and try again. Nothing. I pull. I curse. I remember the guy next door has kids. I do the half-cursing thing.  You know..."God firkafrack, Son of a muckarafa, Mothergagamarka," etc.

So I get the green monster mower and it starts right up. I make one pass down the side of the house and notice something sticky on my finger. It appears to be some type of bug wing so I peel it off. Ow, it feels like there's some type of stinger in my finger, so I pull at the corresponding area. Ow...still stingy. And then I do the smart thing and actually look at my finger. Not a bug wing.

I had pulled that starter cord so hard, so many times, I gave myself several blisters on my hand and the inside of my index finger. The bug wing was, in fact, this huge blister down the inside of my finger which, in my zeal, I had now pulled off. Really pulled off. "Is that muscle?" pulled off.

So I finished that side of the house - only 3 or 4 up and down trips, stop, pull the cord on the light, unstarting mower I wanted to use in the first place and it starts right up. The riding mower I use for the back started right up. Time to edge. I pull the cord on the light small edger I have and the cord stays right there in my hand. Sigh.

Yes, I have another edger. A Parks and Recreation castoff that has 4 wheels and you have to stand on the back wheel and pull the cord straight up to get it started. Which it did. I wrestled that around the yard for a bit. Needless to say there was no yard cleanup that day, no raking, no sweeping, no nothing.

Man, I hate mowing the lawn.

Joe