The "I Can't" Crowd

I’m finding, as I find my own fitness, and as I get older, I have very little patience with the “I can’t” and ‘woe is me” school of thought. I suppose it’s because I think everyone should have the same attitude I had when I had my health issues – “This is terrible, I’m a freak, what’s going to happen to me, why me, this is awful, why me, why me, why me?” I had my pity party…then I got over myself, realized this is the hand I was dealt, let’s go. But not everyone does that, and that’s their bag. But it is aggravating.

Case in point: on one of the groups I belong to for people who had or are going to have the surgeries I had, there was a post from someone basically complaining that they had gained around 50 pounds since their operation and nothing they tried could get the weight to come off. They described how they ate like a bird and couldn’t lose weight. They talked about how they only really ate a handful of fruit and maybe some nuts, hardly anything at all and couldn’t understand why they were still, well…fat.

Right away I say they’re not eating enough. Sometimes you have to eat more to weigh less, you know. But I was at work and couldn’t answer right away. Others stepped up and explained a few things and made suggestions. Apparently, several people are having success with the paleo diet and here is where things went south for me.

The person answers, “Oh I’ve looked into that and have a bunch of cookbooks for it but it’s too expensive and too much of a lifestyle change.”

And that simple statement told me everything I needed to know. No matter what advice or ideas I could give, it’s not their time to change yet. They haven’t reached that point…what Anthony Robbins says is the “No More, Not Another Day, Not Another Second” point where they’ll be ready and do what’s necessary to change.

And…there’s nothing I can do about that. Will I abandon or stop trying to advise and help? Of course not. Will I continue to be an inspiration to people? Of course. (Although, truth be told, I am still uncomfortable with that. To me, as I’ve stated, it’s just the hand I was dealt. But if I can be, I will be.) It’s a hard thing for us fitness people to understand that sometimes the only thing we can do is wait.

I’ve got the answer to a lot of stuff but until and unless someone is ready to hear it…I can’t do anything about that. They’ll continue to “I Can’t” their way through until they either hit that point or realize the “I Can” side of the street looks a lot better.

And that’s up to them.